The official Oppo Hoverboard review you never knew you needed!

"Caleb "If a rally car can do it, so can my Malibu" M. S." (calebms) 01/07/2016 at 08:43 • Filed to: None

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So last night I was the proud driver of a mid-engined, 2WD, Hoverboard Self balancing two wheeled scooter!

No, I did not take any pictures, but will attempt to do the best I can to review the SBTWS to the best of my amatour journalistic abillity.

Not the one I rode

Exterior: 5/10

Plastic. Plastic everywhere. Despite being the top seller in its segment, the Hoverboard 360 Smart Balance Board was lacking severely in high-end materials. Though the board cost $600, it was dressed in the same plastic that my cheap-ass AE sunglasses are.

Interior: 7/10

The revolutionary open-air design was truly riveting, and the control platform was coated in high-grip rubber polymer, which did its job quite well. But as I noted before with the exterior, there was a severe lack of Corinthian Leather, triple treated mahogany, or even granite.

Acceleration: 6/10

Your thoughts more than anything controlled the SBTWS, and this was certainly true with acceleration. You simply leaned forward, concentrated on not taking down your spectators like bowling pins, and the 36 Volt Lithium-ion 4.4AH battery catapulted you to the simply blistering top speed of 12MPH in under 5 seconds.

Transmission: 10/10

It has one gear. It does gear things. I’m still holding out for the 6 speed manual version.

Breaking: 9/10

The SBTWS really does stop on a dime. Just like acceleration, with a lean and a thought you’ve already stopped.

Ride: 10/10

Do you like feeling like the biggest attention-whoreing douche in the room? The SBTWC is for you. Think magic carpet mixed with standing on the prow of a ship, like Titanic . Or maybe surfing is the closest thing I have experienced to the SBTWS. Or maybe a moving sidewalk. You get the idea.

Handling: 9/10

Think and you shall receive, goes a line from the Bible. (Disclaimer: not). Think, LEAN. Think, LEAN. And the most fun thing I did all night? Went to the middle of the gym and just spun in circles, THE GEEEEEEES.

Toys: 10/10

It is one.

Value: 3/10

You pay $600 for the SBTWS, and you really don’t get that much for your money. But I cannot lie, it is hella fun.

Net Weight: 27.5 lbs. (Approx. 10 kg)

Max Load: 265 lbs. (Approx. 120 kg)

Maximum speed: 12 MPH

Range: 8-12 Miles

Turning Radius: 0º

Battery: Lithium-ion 36v 4.4AH

Charging Time: 2-3 Hours

Dimensions: 23” x 7.3” x 7”

ttyymmnn > Caleb "If a rally car can do it, so can my Malibu" M. S. 01/07/2016 at 08:46

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One question: If it’s self balancing, how come so many people are falling off the damned things?

Caleb "If a rally car can do it, so can my Malibu" M. S. > ttyymmnn 01/07/2016 at 08:48

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The first 30 seconds are the worst part. When you put one foot on to mount, it has a tendency of taking off with out all of you onboard. For the most part, accidents are caused by over acceleration, or attempting to test the zero-foot turning radius.

ttyymmnn > Caleb "If a rally car can do it, so can my Malibu" M. S. 01/07/2016 at 08:49

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Do you have any skateboard experience? I should think that would help.

McMike > Caleb "If a rally car can do it, so can my Malibu" M. S. 01/07/2016 at 08:50

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If you intend to recharge your SuperHoverBoard™ in your home unattended, please be sure to use a SuperHoverBoard™ approved charging station. If your home is not equipped with SuperHoverBoard™ charging station, we recommend charging the device outdoors in an open area free from flammable items. We thank you for purchasing a SuperHoverBoard™ and hope you live long enough to enjoy the personal freedom and excitement of your SuperHoverBoard™ for years to come.

Caleb "If a rally car can do it, so can my Malibu" M. S. > ttyymmnn 01/07/2016 at 08:50

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A bit of longboard, but I am by no means proficient , or even competent.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > Caleb "If a rally car can do it, so can my Malibu" M. S. 01/07/2016 at 09:10

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I still want to understand who the hell came up with the name hoverboard. It makes absolutely no sense lol. First place I saw one of these was at a Mazda ND Miata experience thing. The guy that brought it out was totally nuts.

cazzyodo > ttyymmnn 01/07/2016 at 09:31

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I feel like snowboarding would be a bit more applicable but what do I know? I haven’t spun around like Mike Tyson on these things (yet).

Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) > Caleb "If a rally car can do it, so can my Malibu" M. S. 01/07/2016 at 09:54

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concentrated on not taking down your spectators like bowling pins

You did it wrong.

Übel > ttyymmnn 01/07/2016 at 09:56

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It’s harder and less intuitive than it looks. I tried one around Christmas time, they will seriously crank in a circle if you want them to. REALLY fun, though.

Übel > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) 01/07/2016 at 09:59

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It’s shitty, but I’ve yet to see anyone come up with anything better. The alternatives are swagway, phunkee duck, and self balancing two wheeled scooter. At least with “drones”we can get away with quad copter.

wkiernan > Caleb "If a rally car can do it, so can my Malibu" M. S. 01/07/2016 at 10:17

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I was at Epiphany in Tarpon Springs the other day and I saw a bunch of kids tooling down the road on those, including this one cool dude nonchalantly riding his backwards.

uofime-2 > Caleb "If a rally car can do it, so can my Malibu" M. S. 01/07/2016 at 10:19

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does it steer like a zero turn lawnmower or a “twin stick” rc car as in twist forward for forward, back for back and cross control to turn?

ciscokidinsf > Caleb "If a rally car can do it, so can my Malibu" M. S. 01/07/2016 at 10:23

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I got one (cheaper version) and there is no ‘stop’ or ‘park’ prior to board. I could not even put my two feet up unless the thing was stuck by me blocking it with a chair. Self-balancing, my ass. Nobody got harm except a frame that fell of the wall when my board just went backwards and nearly wiped me out.

Übel > uofime-2 01/07/2016 at 10:56

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Each half tilts fairly independently, it’s a lot like a zero turn.

Funktheduck > McMike 01/07/2016 at 11:09

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From the videos I've seen, a fireplace would not contain the flames

Mercedes Streeter > ttyymmnn 01/07/2016 at 11:37

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A lot of people are also buying knockoffs that look like the real deal. The knockoffs don’t have any self balancing tech...and just leave your brain to do the work.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > Übel 01/07/2016 at 11:43

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Isn’t Segway trying to sue the company that came up with Swagway? I just like calling them fireboards since that is what they seem to do more often than not. Scooterboard might be an accurate if not stupid sounding name.

MrDakka > Caleb "If a rally car can do it, so can my Malibu" M. S. 01/08/2016 at 00:48

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Segway Superleggera + LEDs = YOLOSWAGway Superleggera